How to Decide Which Passion to Pursue
Do you ever wonder when you will feel complete, successful, or on top of the world? If you’re an achiever like me, you’re constantly setting goals, achieving them, then moving on to the next thing. Or perhaps you chased after a particular career or dream but now you’re not as excited as you once were and wondering what’s wrong with you. Why can’t I just be happy with where I am? What is my purpose?
I’ve pondered this for many years. For some reason, I had this idea in the back of my mind there would be a peak in my life where I was successful, an expert in my field, a pro at life, and 100% fulfilled. After reading way too many self-development books and listening to nearly every podcast on the planet, I’ve finally come to the conclusion:
We will never have it all figured out. We are meant to evolve, keep learning and growing.
You can’t work out once and expect to stay fit forever. You must practice self-development and work at it every day! It’s okay if you take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. We all get dirty and need to shower. Some days we get it right and some days we get it wrong. If you get it wrong, reflect and try to do better the next day.
Okay, enough of the analogies. Let’s get tactical. Below are common questions and the appropriate strategy to use when you feel unfulfilled or indecisive.
Am I on the right path?
According to a Gallup survey in 2018, 44% of Americans are burned out and 70% are not happy with their job. Therefore, it’s very common for someone to wonder whether they’re in the right position or industry. Caroline Myss has a great suggestion for this: You know you are on the right path if you don’t feel like you have betrayed yourself. Yes, you need to compromise in some areas, like relationships; but if you are compromising your ethics, it is certainly not the right path.
Why don’t I feel content?
When you’re feeling unfulfilled, identify the exact paint point. Do you really hate everything about your job or is it just your commute? Do you like your manager and team but the work isn’t challenging anymore? List the pros and cons. Then list solutions for each con. Which of these solutions is most viable? Now make it happen! Ask your manager whether you can take on a new project, help a different team, or work from home a few days each week. The worst they can say is no.
What is my purpose?
Part 1 - If you didn’t have to worry about money, how would you spend your time? What did you want to be as a child? What are you good at? What do other people ask you to do or seek advice on? Where is there a gap in the market? Which of these skills and interests could be monetized? Choose the interest that fits all 3 criterion, as shown in the diagram.
Part 2 - If you’re trying to determine which major/career/passion to pursue, ask 3 why questions. Why do you want to do that? Why do you feel that way? Why do you want to work with them? Why do they need that? Let go of all social norms, your parents’ expectations, how much money you spent on your college education, which career pays the most, or what your friends will think. Instead of jumping to the answers, start with honest questions about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, and why. Review the questions. You might be surprised to see the answer is right there in front of you. This technique can be applied to other situations as well.
Part 3 - Draw a picture of your dream life. What are you doing? Who are you with? Where are you going? Play pretend as if you are being interviewed by Oprah, or managing a company, or speaking to an audience. Say your accomplishments out loud, “I retired early. I hit $100,000 in sales. I raised good kids. I have financial freedom.” Now reverse engineer it: where do you need to be 1 year from now to make that dream a reality? What can you do today to get closer to that 1 year milestone? You can also use the goal planner below to reverse engineer your dream.
Should I choose X or Y?
Are you trying to decide whether to leave your job to start a business or which major/job to choose? For the sake of this exercise, pretend you are deciding whether to pursue your passion of photography or writing. Imagine you ask a magic 8 ball this question and the answer, “photography,” appears. Do you feel excited or disappointed? Do you get an uneasy feeling in your gut or does your soul seem at peace? How would you feel if “writing” appeared? Our bodies are pretty good at sending us signals. We just need to be still and listen! The more you practice this, the quicker you can make a decision.
Be grateful for what you have
While I believe in personal growth and self-development, I also believe in gratitude and celebration. As I’ve said before, if you don’t celebrate your small wins, you will never be satisfied with your achievements. It’s important you count your blessings and remind yourself of the positive things in your life. If you’ve been practicing gratitude, and you’re still not content with your current situation, then use the strategies above to change course. It’s okay if your dreams and interests change. We go through so many stages and seasons in life, it would be odd if you were 100% content with the same thing throughout your entire life!